I started reading Dateable today. Although I don't agree with everything it says I am going to keep reading. I don't know if any of you have read it but if you have I want to know your feelings on it. Here is a couple quotes from the book that I don't really know how to take. If you could please leave a comment and tell me what you think, especially the guys because I want to know if that is really how you guys work. So please be honest, I want your input.
"You heard me. Whatever relationship you are in right now, whether you are 14, 15, 16, or even 18 years old, know this: It will not last! Period. The end. I know, you are sixteen and so into this guy or girl- but understand that this relationship will not last. You will break up. It will end. It will hurt. It will get in the way of your purpose in life, and it will complicate things and distract you from your passion and destiny.
I know, I know. I'm wrong about your relationship. It's different. You're right for each other. You can just feel it. You have so much in common. You like the same movies. You know each other so deeply that you even finish each other's sentences. You know what the other is thinking. It hurts when you're apart. Congrats! But that has nothing to do with it.?
(p.12)."
"This is how guys and girls are different. A guy will say, 'I love you,' and a girl will attach the world to it. 'He loves me. He wants to be with me. We are soul mates bound by destiny. We will be together forever. I can't wait until we are married. He feels it too.' Well, yeah, when the guy says it, he really means it. Seriously. He does. He loves you. And he loves his mom. He loves his car, his dog, and pizza. He loves winning the game. So when he says he loves you he really does mean it, but not the way you take it
(p. 75)."
-Mapes
Thursday, August 7, 2008
True or Not?
Posted by Breanna at 4:50 PM
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2 comments:
Hi Breanna Maples! I saw your dad at the Leadership Summit, and told him to say hi to you. If he did not, punch him in the stomach. So here is the deal with those quotes from my perspective....
Both of them for the large part can be true, a significant amount of time. Teen romances hardly ever last, and most of them that do reach a state of marriage end up in divorce. The stats back it up. And a lot of times guys do just throw the word love out there like a token gesture that does not mean much, at least not as much as the girl they are dating wants it to mean. Does that mean all teen relationships are destined to fail and not work? Heck no! Otherwise my wife and I wouldn't be together today and the same thing with your parents. I think the key is to just be wise. Don't give yourself away and hold back on the stuff like sex and heavy emotional attachment until you married. Decision making is hard as a teenager (the actual part of your brain that is used in decision making doesn't finish developing until you are 25!) and you have to put yourself in position to make the best possible ones.
So there you go...for what's it worth. I am proud of you for searching and reading stuff that you might not always agree with but can grow from!!!
As much as I hate what he/she's saying, they're pretty accurate. Like skippy up there said, these relationships that start are not always going to work out. Mostly because we don't know what want yet. Some people are, they have matured and developed this, awareness of what kind of relationship they want and what kind of person they want to have it with.
Another reason that these relationships fail so quickly is because people aren't looking for long-term relationships, they want a short, quick hook-up.
Which is why these (the people who wrote the book)'s opinion's of teenagers is... well, an opinion.
If you are wise, like skippy said, then the outcome can be different.
If you make the right decisions, and you choose someone with the same intentions that you'd both date for a long time (possibly until marraige), then that can change. It takes boundaries, it takes patience, and it takes a whole lot of learning.
These people who wrote the book, these are their opinions, you don't have to make it your own.
As long as you have your heart in the right place, and your head on straight as well to keep it in check, then all should be well. The Bible is the only book that you should always consider making its words your own.
I could rant and rant on and on about relationships.
Now, the next quote. Ha ha, this is where it gets confusing and difficult to understand... confuzzling/confuzzled... if you will.
Basically it's all in decision making again, and choosing the right guy who has his heart in the right place as well. And his mind straight as well.
Guys can be very carefree, with what they say and everything. They use words loosely. But it's not like there's no drive to it.
Especially love.
The people who wrote the book. They are kinda twisting things around.
Almost all guys use the word love as they described.
But!!!!
Because of the carefree nature that men can have, they don't express how much they love what the love. They just say that they do.
Most guys, they say it like the mean it, which is what you need to watch out for and avoid (in terms of dating, be friends for all I care. :D).
Then there are the guys you should consider dating, the ones that need to express how much they love you rather than just saying it.
They mean it, but they love you way more than their car or their moms or whatever. But the problem is that guys don't say that.
Guys need to work on that.
So it's all about being wise and decision making, and getting to know the guy before you date them, so you can make sure he is someone who truly means I love you, and loves you more than their car or their pizza bagels.
I know it is so long.
You don't have to agree with what I say. Just my opinion.
Read the rest of the book and what they have to say to you.
From what your heart and mind scream right, claim it as true.
:)
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